I’M WHITE AND AFRAID OF EVERYTHING: SPANISH IS SPOKEN TOO FAST AND I’M SCARED

WashPo profiled a scared white person, and I am just so grateful that I am able to better understand what it is like to be white and afraid of everything. They tracked a young couple, Heaven and Venson, who work at the Bell & Evans chicken plant in Fredericksburg, PA.

She knew she was about to go at least eight hours without speaking English, or probably anything at all, in a plant where nearly all of the workers were Latino and spoke Spanish, and she was one of the few who wasn’t and didn’t.

If only there was something that could be done about this….

[Heaven and Venson] held the embrace, swaying slightly, their world outside the plant’s walls — white, rural, conservative — feeling distant in this world within, where they were the outsiders, the ones who couldn’t communicate, the minority.

Wow. This is pretty fucking dramatic for a description of going into your job of quality checking chicken, holy shit.

Continue reading I’M WHITE AND AFRAID OF EVERYTHING: SPANISH IS SPOKEN TOO FAST AND I’M SCARED

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Dear Men: Take Your Drink and Go Away. Sincerely, Service Workers Everywhere

Last week, Emelia Holden’s takedown of a customer who grabbed her ass while she was working in a restaurant went viral. Good. Maybe a couple of dudes will learn something from it — I know that I’m tired of men bothering me at work, and the reactions I’ve seen to Holden have been overwhelmingly positive.

The thing is, a lot of men cross a line with me when I’m at work. And if you’re a woman in the service industry, I’m sure it happens to you, too. When the Brock Turner case first hit the news, plenty of men were pissed (and rightly so!). Raping a passed out woman behind a dumpster is objectively wrong. It’s something that most men would never do. But pointing out that the Brock Turner case isn’t the standard of what’s right and wrong sure does upset some men.

Continue reading Dear Men: Take Your Drink and Go Away. Sincerely, Service Workers Everywhere

Why Can’t Major League Baseball Make Decent Fan Apparel for Women?

Over the years I have amassed a collection of about 30 Orioles t-shirts. Roughly three of them were designed for women. This begs the question: why the fuck is it so hard for apparel companies to create decent MLB clothing for women who like baseball?

Look, I understand that Majestic sucks for everyone, but the other brands who are licensed could at least try. For years I have been buying $5 and $10 t-shirts outside of Camden Yards on game days, because if I’m going to be in a low quality, ill fitting shirt, I’d rather spend $5 on it and not $30. But I would cheerfully shell out whatever on a decent women’s tank top.

Continue reading Why Can’t Major League Baseball Make Decent Fan Apparel for Women?

Thursday Book Recommendation: Hand to Mouth

I’ve decided that on Thursdays, I recommend books. I’m starting this week with Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America by Linda Tirado.

Standing desks really piss me off in a way I find hard to articulate. Other than working as a receptionist in high school, I have always had to stand for work. That includes standing at times that are actually completely  unnecessary, and oftentimes while wearing heels. Take this past week, for example. I worked 11.5 hour days, and was expected to stand for every hour, on concrete, with minimal breaks. It sucked. I had shin splints. My left knee was on fire by the last day. So why do people with good white collar jobs want to force themselves to suffer by standing for 8 hours? Did they look at minimum wage earning cashiers, forced to stand for gross amounts of time for literally no reason, and think, “gee, wish I could keep my salary but also role play as a poor person?” Like I’m actively trying to change things because it’s shitty to make someone stand when they could be sitting if they wanted, and here comes this standing desk craze.

Continue reading Thursday Book Recommendation: Hand to Mouth

Dear Conservative Male Snowflakes: I’m Sorry My Dating Profile Hurts Your Fragile Male Ego

Men, I am begging you: please stop using dating apps as debating apps.

I am a single, liberal, feminist woman, and I’m not interested in dating a man who isn’t likeminded. Instead of accidentally going on a bunch of first dates with Trump voters, I’m pretty clear about my opinions on my dating profiles. I have a website where I sell anti-Trump t-shirts, with proceeds benefiting organizations directly impacted by his policies. Not only do I wear the shirts in two of my photos, I clearly state “I own AbortMikePence.com,” the site I sell the shirts on. I don’t bring this up because I want to debate politics, I bring it up because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life defending things I believe to be important to my partner. Not being liberal is a deal breaker for me.

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Oftentimes on OkCupid, I’ll get a message from an angry man who wants to explain to me why he hates “O’Bummer” and why I’m an idiot, but Bumble is pretty safe — after all, we can’t message each other unless we’ve matched. Or so I thought.

Last month I went to a wedding in Charleston, South Carolina. While I was there, I guess Bumble showed my profile results to people around me — because three weeks after I got home, I noticed an email from one of my potential matches.

Apparently, some poor little conservative male snowflake found my Bumble profile to be the most offensive thing he had ever seen. Since this angry man could not message me on Bumble, he went to my website and got my email. He then made a fake email account so he could send me the following novel:

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There are so many things wrong with this message, but I’d like to draw attention to the line “I am just waiting for the day I get the go ahead to grab a rifle. Because a peaceful resolution will not occur. You parasites are a plague.” Look, I’m not an expert — but I think the man who is so enraged by a stranger’s 300 character Bumble profile that he has to go through hoops to email her probably shouldn’t have a rifle.

So I’m sorry, Mr. NOT a beta male. I’m sorry if I hurt your little fee-fees with my preference to date men who are not like you. After all, I am just a nasty shitlib woman, living a lie. My only regret is that, yes, indeed — TrumpsRussiaTies.com is taken.

This is a repost from summer 2017. Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Buy an Abort Mike Pence, Cage Jeff Sessions, or Repeal and Replace the GOP shirt here! If you like my writing, please consider contributing to my Patreon 

In Defense of “Trump’s ‘Purple’ Family Values”

Over the weekend, the New York Times published an op-ed piece by Matthew Schmitz titled “Trump’s ‘Purple’ Family Values.” Let me save you the click: basically, Schmitz argues that working class people see Trump as a good family values guy, because traditionally those people come from fucked up families.

Yup. That’s the whole point. And it sounds legit to me! So I have decided to admit defeat. Surely, the man who has recently tweeted “we can and we must overturn Roe” is a man whose opinions I trust greatly when it comes to not letting his fiery desire to control women blind him to how shitty Trump is. So yes, I believe the right is correct: Trump loves families. And stuff. I’ve compiled some evidence for this

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I’m convinced. Trump loves families! Especially ones with sick mom and daughters who can’t access healthcare, and super especially the not white families.

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