Can You Help My AK Pick a Filter? I Don’t Know if I Should Go With XX Pro or Valencia. Also, Target Pretends to Care about Guns

Look, I support your right to have a gun. I even support your right to open carry your gun. But I do not support you in your endeavor to be a complete and total asshole. Remember back in May, when those open carry assholes decided that instead of Instagramming pictures of their burritos at Chipotle, they’d rather IG pictures of themselves holding assault rifles at Chipotle? What you probably don’t remember is all of the normal, sane people who elect to open carry in Arizona and don’t cause a general ruckus. Mostly because they, you know, don’t violate the law and jeopardize a business’s licensing just to make their point.


Now Target has decided to request their customers do not bring guns into their stores, even in states that allow open carry. Um, are the open carry people who bring their assault rifles into places like Starbucks and Target actually anti-gun people who are doing their best to make gun laws as restrictive as possible? Because they’re doing a bang up job convincing people that they’re insane. Fortunately, Open Carry Texas (whose work at appropriate places, like the Alamo, I respected), made a Facebook response to Target to clear up how they feel. Texas OC clarifies that they won’t stoop so low as to interfere with or infringe upon the rights of a private corporation; they even bring up their MONTHS LONG policy of not acting like a bunch of dipshits carrying weapons into fast food establishments. They do decide to point out some important information that Target may have overlooked, though:

Time and time again, businesses that have asked guests not to bring legally possessed, self defense firearms into their establishments have seen their employees and customers victimized by criminals preying on the openly defenseless.

That sounds awful, right? Are you, as a casual reader of this information, curious about the studies that prove this, other than “time”? You aren’t alone:

photo (2)

Yeah. You’re reading that correctly.
Reader: Do you have any studies to back that up?
OC Texas: Go fuck yourself.

Are they just in some contest with the Hobby Lobby owners to see who can be the most universally disliked group of people in America? What possesses a real organization to not support their comments with stats? And then to be rude when someone inquires about it?

Open Carry, y’all might want to buy this book

 Then there’s the part where Target didn’t actually ban guns. They basically just said, “Hey guys, we think it would be really super cool if you stopped bringing your guns into our stores. We aren’t going to abide by any state laws and post the required signs that keep our property gun free, we’re going to just ask nicely.” Why? Because the people who are offended by guns haven’t taken any gun classes and don’t know the difference. Newsflash: Nothing has changed, here. If you’re legally allowed to carry in your weapon, you’re still legally allowed to bring it. You’re just a rude asshole if you do it now.

photo (1) Here I am, Instagramming myself leaving the NRA shooting range — looking totally normal, unlike some people.

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27 thoughts on “Can You Help My AK Pick a Filter? I Don’t Know if I Should Go With XX Pro or Valencia. Also, Target Pretends to Care about Guns

  1. I could never figure out how we were supposed to tell the crazed homicidal maniac with a gun from the law-abiding, licensed gun-lover with a gun. Doesn’t matter. If I saw one in any establishment, I’m walking out, leaving my full shopping cart behind.

    • I agree. I really did support them when they did their event at the Alamo…organized, controlled, and in a place that makes sense. But just casually ordering an espresso with an AR over your shoulder? Um, okay.

  2. Oh thank you for the giggle of putting it in layman’s terms!! Having had this conversation with my son the other night, you’ve put it in much better terms than I did. My thoughts stray along the lines of “maybe bringing your gun into the grocery store makes you feel safer, but it makes me nervous as hell…how am I, a complete stranger, supposed to know if you’re one of the good guys or the bad guys? It’s not like I will be asking to see your permit…” I don’t begrudge gun owners/enthusiasts the right to bear arms, or even to carry openly, but these oh so public displays are excessive and counterproductive. Thank you again for your humor at the ridiculousness!

    • Thanks!

      I know, it’s ridiculous. I spent a good deal of time in Arizona for work, dealing with the public…and it was weird at first to see people open carry, but no one drew attention to it, so I quickly got over it. Nothing like what’s going on here.

  3. I cannot adequately express how much I love this post. You summed up my feelings perfectly. Own and carry legally. Yay! Go for it. No need to be an asshole though.

  4. I have an open letter to Open Carry Texas on my blog and I lay out the same argument about the open carrying of long guns. I have a friend who open carries his pistol in a holster but he would never carry a rifle into a business unless he was bringing it in to sell and have fixed. I agree that most people do not understand guns and they are ignorant of real gun owners.

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