My Boobs Don’t Need Your Husband to See Them: Or, You Probably Think This Pic is About You

Last week one of my Facebook friends posted a link to a blog entry titled My Husband Doesn’t Need to See Your Boobs (post has since been deleted, find it here instead) I didn’t want to click on it, because I was sure it would piss me off — so of course I ended up reading it on my disaster flight and immediately became full of rage. The post is about the author’s husband having Facebook friends that post pictures of themselves in bikinis, and how it’s wrong. Yes, you read that right. Apparently any time any girl posts bikini pics on Facebook, it’s about this blogger and her husband. I bet all of their female friends sit around and just wait to take bikini photos so they can make this woman’s life and marriage miserable. Anyway, this bitch removed the ability to leave comments, so I have no choice but to write about her article here.

She starts off with some story about wearing slutty khakis in high school and then being a prude for the rest of her life. After the introduction to what it’s like to be insane, we get down to the nitty gritty.

I’m not writing to chastise you for posting your bikini pics from your lake outing. I suppose we all have enough criticism via blog spaces.

Um, what? What does that even mean? You are clearly writing an entire blog entry to chastise people for posting bikini pics, and a passive aggressive comment that “we all have enough criticism via blog spaces” only drives that home.

But I am writing to share the perspective of a woman who is fighting for her marriage. And for that reason, I want to tell you that I don’t need my husband to see your boobs.

I’m just writing from the perspective of a woman who is in a happy and committed long distance relationship. And for that reason, I want to tell you that I never tell my boyfriend who to look at, nor do I monitor his newsfeed. Because guess what? If a picture of some girl with bigger boobs than mine makes him lose interest in me, we have bigger problems than social media. Take some responsibility – happy people don’t cheat. I’m not blaming the victim, but a relationship is a two person deal, and a picture of a friend in a bikini isn’t going to make or break anything.

Anyways, what I’m saying is I don’t fault you. I don’t blame you for being confident enough to let the world see how good you look in front of the waves with your coozie and ballcap and barely anything else.

But I want to tell you that it’s a stumbling block in our marriage.

Is it, though? I know you’ve amended your blog to say you aren’t insecure, but you are a liar. Either you’re married to a 15 year old boy, or you are incredibly insecure — even if you don’t realize it. Do you know what is really unattractive? Telling your SO not to look at other women. Telling them it’s a stumbling block. If my boyfriend took my magazines and ripped out the pages of shirtless men before I was allowed to read them, we wouldn’t be together much longer. And why do you think any other woman cares? Here’s an example of something another woman should feel bad for doing: “I don’t blame you for being confident enough to let my husband see how good you look in front of our bed, with my inherited crystal wine glass in your hand and your thong on and nothing else. But I want to tell you that when you sneak into my house to seduce my husband, it’s a stumbling block in our marriage.”

When I scroll through my news feed, my thumb moves in a continuous circular motion until something catches my eye and I want to look closer. And then I tap on the picture and make that little swipe with my thumb and pointer finger so I can zoom in just as close as I can to capture all the details.

Thank you for explaining Facebook.

I’m especially bad about this when there is a line of bathing suits in the pic. AND I’M A GIRL.

Mostly I’m looking at your legs asking myself, How are there seriously people without cellulite????

Well, I used to have cellulite until Crossfit made me do a bunch of squats. But don’t worry…every squat I do, all I think about is the bikini pictures I will get to post that will hopefully ruin someone’s marriage. Virtual marriage ruining is what gets me through my work out. It’s completely about YOU.

I doubt my husband is so lucky. Actually, I know it’s next to impossible to take in images like those and erase them from his mind. Because our men are much less emotional and are much more visual. And as quickly as I can forget your picture, it is filed away in his mind, ready to be pulled back out whenever he so chooses.

Maybe this is the solution. Just write on every picture, “Thank you for posting! My hubby has it filed away in his spank bank for later on!” I guarantee these girls will unfriend the both of you, and problem solved!!!

Again, I am not faulting you. And by no means am I faulting him. This man of mine diverts his eyes from whatever questionable images flash on the screen before him. But sometimes the temptation is too much.

Really? Because every word of your post sounds like you are faulting all other women, ever. And I guess hubby can do no wrong, huh? But seriously. Do you not go to the pool or beach together? Does he keep his eyes shut? Do you poke them out? What happens? Do you only vacation at public beaches in Kuwait? Oh, the evil temptation of girls in swimsuits! I wish there were more countries where you still went to jail for wearing a bikini!!

After Memorial Day, I noticed so much skin on social media that I half-yelled a warning to him as I ran out the door one morning. It’s summertime, honey! Beware the beach pics and half nude girls on Instagram! And like that, he was in solitary confinement from all virtual community for the next two days.

……..You are a terrible, miserable controlling woman and I expect you will be cheated on in no time. I cannot even imagine how my SO would respond, but I know if I was told this, I’d be changing those locks before you got back.

Protecting his eyes, protecting his heart.

More like protecting his brain and potential migraine from hearing his Debbie Downer wife bitch at him for going on the internet. Do you know you can watch orgies with like 50 women fully nude on the internet? And you’re worried about FACEBOOK? Facebook who won’t let nips show in pics???

When your bare shoulders and stretchmark-less bellies and tanned legs pop up, I not only worry if my husband will linger over your picture. I worry how he will compare me to you.

Please, tell me more about how you aren’t insecure.

But would you, could you, keep your boobs out of my marriage? You can have your memories, and we can have our sacred hearts. And we can all get along in beautiful harmony.

I think the better option is for you to delete your accounts on all forms of social media. Better safe than sorry.

Anyone who feels the need to passively aggressively make a sad little blog entry about girls in bikinis instead of directly confronting girls or, you know, getting over it, seems like they are doomed from the start. No way this chick has a great marriage. I’d understand more if she wrote this directed to HBO or photoshopped women in Vogue or almost anything else. As it stands, all she has done is come across as a controlling and demanding wife, and as a self-centered bitch. Not all Facebook picture are about you, lady. I can basically give you my personal guarantee that none of the people posting anything are thinking about you — well, except now they probably are.

For your husband:


Yes, I also support your right to wear leggings. Check me out on Facebook, Instagram (your best bet for more pool pics), and Twitter; subscribe to my blog here
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527 thoughts on “My Boobs Don’t Need Your Husband to See Them: Or, You Probably Think This Pic is About You

  1. catherinelea1

    Thank you for posting this. I completely agree. Girl is insane.

    Out of all the deranged comments you quoted her saying, what upset me the most was: “This man of mine diverts his eyes from whatever questionable images flash on the screen before him. But sometimes the temptation is too much.” WHAT? She makes zero sense. Have you so little faith in your husband? More importantly, does she realize she is blaming women for the reason men are unfaithful and/or lose interest in their wives?

    I am a huge fan of #yesallwomen, if you haven’t heard of it you should look it up. One topic of discussion revolved around the issue of public schools developing stricter rules for girl’s dress codes, enforcing strict rules on what they can and can not wear while boys face minimum if any restrictions. These rules are meant to keep boys from being distracted by girls. BASICALLY, the administration is teaching children that girls/women are responsible for inappropriate behavior by boys, and it is OUR responsibility to hide ourselves, instead of the boy’s responsibility to act mature.

    I am used to men not understanding things like this, it happens. But when a women plays for the wrong team, I become offended.

      1. amy

        it did sound like a bit of woman hate. different strokes for different folks right. different strokes for different ladies.

    1. Jamie Hartman

      Dear MandaWrites:
      Wow, this blog is cyber bullying at its finest. I’m not saying I agree with the girl you are counter responding to in your blog…but that does not mean you need to verbally attack her not-so-traditional and definitely different beliefs by calling her a bitch. Everyone is different and has different beliefs and values. I do not applaud you in any way, shape, or form for deciding to call someone a bitch and write this catty little post degrading someone you know very little about. Have some compassion and God damn respect for others. Just because someone thinks differently than you does make them a bitch and constitute for their public annihilation and humiliation on social media. This lack of compassion and respect for others is what is truly wrong with the entire world. Compassion people. Compassion.

      1. Tiffany @ Domestic Dysfunction

        Uhm, you don’t get to claim you’re being bullied when you posted an entire blog bullying an entire gender. Calling people on their shit is not bullying. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from the reprecussions of your speech. That’s the best thing about the cyber-world…it is a level playing field.

      2. Marcia

        Very well said Jamie Hartman! I agree with you.
        There is no need to be calling the other woman a bitch.

      3. Keith @ Road Racing

        Well said Tiffany! I don’t know if you guys read what this phycho was saying to this other girl, but she was trashing her for posting NORMAL pictures on FB and blaming her for ruining her marriage because she’s insecure and has a terrible marriage. THEN to top it off, blocks replies to her dumbass rant. People that post stupid shit need to called out from time to time.

      4. Leah

        Yes! So glad I’m not the only one slightly disgusted with this selfish abusive rant on a woman struggling to make her marriage work. Sad 😦 Is it really more important for women to be sexy than to be compassionate? Really? Ladies’ priorities are all wrong.

  2. Kimberly Tavernier

    Thanks for this. As a Christian wife and mom of 4 boys, I can tell you that I’m much more concerned with how the men in my family treat women NO MATTER WHAT THEY’RE WEARING than I am about monitoring their social media content or trying to enforce some arbitrary standard of modesty in order to protect them. Men don’t want to be protected. They want to be respected. And that shit was NOT respectful.

    1. mandawritesthings Post author

      Thank you!! Some people are trying to peg me as anti-Christian but I totally agree with you. It’s sooo much more important that your husband is respectful and kind, not that he doesn’t have friends with boats!!!!

      1. geekgurl2000

        That was excellent, Manda. I don’t suppose you did a copy of the original blog, because the insecure wife deleted her blog and I wouldn’t mind reading it.

  3. George Brown

    Boobs shouldn’t be a problem… they should be a requirement.
    Just look at all the problem bound places on earth and tell me that boobs are not being repressed.
    It’s just a real correlation Boob repression = Problem

  4. Fittie

    I don’t understand why we can’t all just have a little more empathy for each other and our struggles. You are right AND she’s right. Many marriages crumble because other men can’t keep their eyes off other women. Said men should probably re-think being on social media at all, rather than wives needing to nitpick what’s in their newsfeeds. But that doesn’t mean the struggle isn’t there and isn’t real for some husbands and wives. Your post isn’t helpful on any level. Why does it matter to you that this other blogger has a husband who struggles? Have some empathy and kindness. Just because it’s not your struggle or or you can’t relate, doesn’t make it any less real.

    1. Vicky

      Because it not any one else’s responsibility to fix their marriage and monitor themselves around this couple. If your husband has cheating problems then thats his problem, and like this lady stated, if your marriage is falling apart because of social media, well then you have bigger problems. Anyone is allowed to post what they want. Being condescending and aiming your anger at other people won’t help your problems. She obviously has issues with her husband so she should work them out with him not by controlling him and demanding other women not seduce him(even though they aren’t). She has no trust in her husband, which is the real issue here and yet she takes no responsibility for it and condemns other women.

    2. realist

      No. Just no. Marriages broken apart by men looking at other women are NOT broken up by the man looking at other women. If that is seriously the problem, then it is because the man is not really invested or committed to his partner. Or because they married a woman that after marriage has given up all ties to her femininity and desire to attract her own husband. But seeing some random picture of some random bikini clad female on facebook does not act as a constant potential catalyst for marital strife. What IS a catalyst is immaturity, insecurity, and jealousy. And if your man isn’t able to take his eyes off another woman/women..maybe look in the mirror and ask yourself what is it that changed? He wanted you to begin with, and he’s still a part of your life. He still goes to work and comes home and takes care of the kids and fixes the your broken things, and takes you to dinner…ask yourself why he doesn’t look at you like that anymore and stop blaming the multitude of cop-outs like random women in facebook friendly pictures on the internet. Sack up ladies. Relationships are work, and you have your share. Deal with it. You married a human being not an idea.Not a robot. And not a fairy tale.

    3. Brett Ness

      Marriages don’t crumble over photos of girls in bikinis. If that does happen, it is the excuse because you are afraid to talk about the problem, but it is not the problem.

    4. Lori

      Very well written Fittie! I was thinking the same thing. I don’t understand why that other woman’s post caused the writer so much anger.

    5. ~ T

      Right. People need to have more compassion rather than criticize and complain about someone who they don’t even know. Women need to have more respect for each other and other women’s spouses. It is not our place to judge other people and their relationship. It’s our job to be nice and give grace even to those who might upset us.
      On another note this whole article just made me think of a talk that I heard about the bikini. I’ll go ahead and share. It was pretty interesting.

    6. Cara

      What she is saying, is that the issue is not with her posting her bikini pics. It’s the fact that this woman’s husband either has issues, and does not need social media sites, or this woman is completely controlling. Everyone looks at other people and can recognize their beauty, but there is a difference in looking and obsessing and “adding it to the spank bank.” She is pointing out that the problem is with these people’s relationship. It’s not that she does not have empathy. There is really no opportunity to give empathy. The lady should just unfriend the women who do this, or just get rid of social media. It’s simple. You can’t filter the world just because you are sensitive and you have an unfaithful, perverted husband

    7. Lorenzo Thethirdone

      What??? The author in this blog doesn’t have to be sympathetic. If it was her struggle I gather she would fix it where it wasn’t a struggle like “not being with a man that you have to worry about who he looks at”. This woman is insecure and she’s obviously with the wrong mate for her self esteem. That’s no one else’s problem but hers. If she’s weak we can go around telling other people to change, we need to teach her to get stronger. If she’s that fragile she needs to find a mate that works better for her security. Again if you’re with a man that likes to look at other women to the point where you’re hurt then the problem is your man and not anyone else. So to fix that you make him NOT your man and find a man that works better for you. That insecure woman made herself look worse by writing such a ridiculous article in the first place. She just broadcasted how insecure she was and how weak she was to stay with a man like that because she wants society to pretty much go away so she can be happy with her man.. That’s just dumb.. I may sound insensitive to your comment but I actually think you somehow think just like the insecure woman for you to make the comment you did.

    8. Paige

      I’m sorry, but that’s absolutely ridiculous. She (the girl who wrote the original article) is not at all right. The problems in her marriage are not caused by bikini pics on FB. Period. I have an ex that used to check out other girls & yes, it sucked. But why the hell would I blame those women because my man is an asshole?! That’s insane! It would be one thing if there were women sending raunchy photos directly to her husband & she wanted to complain about that, but for her to try & make women feel bad for sharing pictures of their activities (aka the point of having FB & Instagram) just because she has self esteem problems is bull. If your spouse seeing pics of your friends in bikinis is gonna make or break your marriage I’ve got news for ya: the union is doomed anyway! That chicks insecurities are nobody’s problem but hers & if her hubby cheats or can’t keep his eyes off other women THAT’S ON HIM.

    9. Jazsmin

      I can see where you’re coming from, but as she stated in several different ways- it’s his issue if he can’t handle seeing biniki pics. If it is really impacting a marriage that much, then the husband should have the decency to not go on Facebook then. Some couples have problems with their spouses watching porn, but the way I see it is that if he really didn’t want to be with me he wouldn’t because he doesn’t need to. I’m not forcing my husband to stick around. I can’t wonder what he thinks of every girl in a bikini especially since I haven’t worn a bikini since before we had our 2 kids. Maybe I’m being insensitive? But that’s how I’ve had to deal with it. I’m very self conscious so yes i wonder who and what my husband might see, but I am confident enough and trust him enough to know that he loves me and that no matter what he sees, it’s just somebody’s body, my body comes with all our love and memories that some random girl in a bikini doesn’t have with him. If I had to restrict him, I don’t think it would help anything. If he loves me, he will know when to avert his eyes.

    10. Jenny

      Wow. “Many marriages crumble because other men can’t keep their eyes off other women.” You make it sound like men are mindless drones with no choice but to disrespect their partners by ogling other women. I genuinely pity any woman whose husband/S.O. is so thoughtless, but it is their problem for staying with someone who disrespects them in this way. To think everyone else’s body is the problem is absolutely insane.

    11. sarah

      First off… it’s called “A blog about things that irritate me”, not “This is my attempt to make the world a better place.” The blog is in response to something incredibly irritating, not an attempt to help anyone.

      Secondly, the person who wrote an open blog post about the fact that other women are posting pictures of themselves in a bikini wrote AN OPEN BLOG POST. She was actually calling out other women to let them know these things. How is it wrong to judge someone based on the things they say? I am judging the hell out of her.

      The author never said this wasn’t a problem. The other blog writer clearly has a very real problem. But that problem is her husband, not the girls he’s friends with. You should never, ever, ever have to censor your own posts on your own facebook because someone else is having marital problems. No one should ever complain that your pictures are the problem. It’s like someone who is trying to encourage their spouse to lose weight writing a passive aggressive blog because his friends have the gall to talk about what they made for dinner.

    12. Christin

      I agree with the blogger here. She either needs to leave her husband or gain some confidence. If you can’t keep your man from cheating then you aren’t doing your job in the marriage. point blank period

    13. dagmar hofmann

      Compassion is fine, and this woman has mine, but what’s not okay is that she makes others responsible for her own problems. She specifically asks other women to not post their bikini pics. It’s not about her problems, it’s about other peoples’ behavior that she is trying to control, and that’s not okay.

    14. Jess

      I am a bit of a foodie. I like to make chocolates, to cook, and to bake. I don’t do it every day though, because I would love to lose some weight, so I cook/bake fancy stuff as a hobby for special occasions and gifts. I have some friends that are chocolatiers and chefs, and they are active on Facebook. Those friends post pictures of their dinners, pastries, breads, and chocolates.

      Since I want to lose a few pounds, those pictures make me want to go out and get some chocolate, or make some. Should I expect my friends to stop posting pictures of their creations because it may contribute to my falling off the diet wagon? No. It’s my problem, not theirs.

    15. Aj

      I read the blog this is in response to the other day. I understood where the writer was coming from and also knew she was going to be ripped to pieces from people like you. What did this article accomplish? When she wrote that, she was sharing something about herself and her marriage…making herself vulnerable by saying what was on her mind. What did you do? You responded like a middle school girl. I expect you probably act like this all the time and although it may be funny to people now, you won’t get far at all in life with this mindset. I’m glad you think you are so funny and witty. Oh and look! It can curse too! This is the type of article one might find in cosmopolitan or some other trash magazine. Be thankful that you aren’t in the same situation that this woman is in. Maybe you could offer a little encouragement rather than tearing her down while she is already working through things.

      1. Charlie

        Sorry…. I’m all for being compassionate in the appropriate situations, but people who choose to write about their personal issues and post it on the internet for the world to see should be ready for whatever commentary others care to make.

        This wasn’t a personal letter between friends. It wasn’t even just a personal FB post that only the woman’s friends were meant to see. It was posted on her PUBLIC blog, intended for widespread PUBLIC reading. Furthermore, it’s not as though she was just sharing her personal problems. She managed to write some things in the process that many people found very offensive to both men and women, and actually called on people to change their behavior to suit her personal agenda.

        I do have sympathy for anyone, like her, in a painful personal situation. But sometimes life’s most important lessons are hard. Sometimes the best medicine isn’t a pat on the hand, but a kick in the butt to make us take a long look at our possibly-skewed perspective on things.

      2. Melanie

        So Aj, in your opinion it is ok for the original writer to tear down other women for posting bikini pics, but it’s not ok for Mandi to stand up for those girls that have NOTHING to do with the original bloggers problem. That makes complete sense!

      3. Beautiful AND Modest

        AJ! Thank u! U said it perfectly. Manda’s response was that of a high school mean girl: selfish, incinsiderate, ignorant, shallow.

  5. J

    Oh no, your bikini picture just ruined my relationship! Kidding!
    If this women is worried about her husband looking at other women then their marriage has major problems and him looking at pictures on Facebook is definitely not the problem and her husband not looking at them isn’t going to fix a damn thing!
    My boyfriend is obsessed with huge boobs and mine are small. I could care less if he looks at big boobs all day; it’s not going to change our relationship. He loves me for who I am and wants to be with me; if he didn’t want to be with me he wouldn’t! This women should spend more time with her husband instead of scrolling through Facebook looking for bikini pictures!

  6. Daveo

    If a woman is threatened by her husband seeing another woman in a bikini, there is something wrong in the marriage. Same thing goes for the other way. People here in the states are way to hung up on the human body, it just isn’t that big a deal.

  7. Andrew Denton

    A woman walks by with hot bikini on and a rockin bod that obviously took some serious workouts to gain/maintain.. I comment on how hot etc etc to my friends in my immediate vicinity. Some women are appalled because I pointed out the obvious (sexism to some is hot as fuck to others, bad news your morals don’t fit every one else’s perfectly), Others will say that my wife is hotter coming quickly to my non present wife’s defense.
    1: Chance’s are my wife would have pointed the hot girl out sooner then I. (she is my best friend)
    2: I understand the sticking up with your friends thing but do you really think my marriage is so frail that i need to be reminded of my awesome wife?

    In the end if your insecure and self centered with everything reflecting on you then start getting plastic surgery until you turn into one of those crazy rubber people that have a constant surprise look on their face with lips that need Goodyear stamped on them. I’ll be sitting by the pool with my wife sipping an umbrella drinks giggling.

  8. Pattie S. Christensen-Ellis

    Either the husband is a perv or the wife is a nut job or both. Either way, your pictures are very cute. I personally have never seen anything on facebook that I would consider porny. Maybe Instagram has that but I don’t do instagram

  9. Sarah

    If she’s so concerned with her husband seeing those “slutty” things….why are those women on HIS newsfeed. Looks like she’s trying to put the blame on someone else. I think there’s a huge difference in being “slutty” and posting pictures from an outing.

  10. A-

    I am so glad you wrote this! If I knew how to start a blog, I would! I great way for me to vent my frustrations that I do my best to bite my tongue about. My best friend since junior high school has turned in to this kind of woman! I’ve done my best to talk her out of her insanity but still, she doesn’t allow him to even eat at Hooter’s! Really?! She apparently doesn’t care about my opinion which is strange because she asks for it a lot, it’s just not ever taken especially when it isn’t what she wants to hear! Yes, I do believe I will figure out how to start a blog. Google,my very best friend, should be able to teach me how. Whether anyone actually reads it or not, it will still help me get all of this out of my head and in to words! Thanks for the inspiration to FINALLY start putting in to words the things that I’m thinking in my head when I hear people say crazy things like this!

  11. sarah

    Omg, I live this! My husband and I have what I would consider a healthy relationship…actually, probably unhealthy because we are joined at the hip…but in any case, we have something called trust and respect and friendship, so if I saw him looking at bikini clad girls on Facebook, I would not think anything of it, or I would ask him who got to go to the beach, and damn she looks good! I feel sorry for the woman you are referring to…her marriage is hanging on by a thread, if it’s not already in shambles. She’s just projecting her insecurities. You know, I’m not the hottest skank at the club, but my husband and I are so happy together…I usually am the one pointing out the ladies, saying, man, if I had legs like that, I’d let my butt hang out of my shorts, too…and then he usually says something sappy like….nah, that girl doesn’t have anything on dat booty (and this is funny because he is the last person you’d expect to say “dat booty”). This article should make those of us with happy, healthy relationships very thankful that we are not trapped in her warped world. Enjoyed the read 🙂

  12. Kat Dunn

    As a bi sexual female who enjoys boobs, I am a fan of many Facebook pages that showcase tattooed hotties. You know what I do when I find a beautiful pair of boobs? I show them to my boyfriend (father of my two children). We’ve been together 5 years and never has he considered cheating because he’s seen boobs. Usually in fact, it gets him excited and more interested in mine, even though I’ve been breastfeeding for almost two years now and they aren’t what they used to be. If this woman is so insecure that she doesn’t want him seeing boobs, how does she handle the beach or r-rated movies? Sounds Like she just wanted an excuse to judge others.

  13. Shana Sidfrids

    This woman is nuts and that is saying alot. I have been married to my husband for thirteen years and I am the one that usually points out some pictures of women to him because he is married not dead. I think that him looking at women is part of who he is and if I were to try and stop him, I would be denying him part of what made me love him in the first place. I know that I’m not a beautiful woman. I am overweight and not all that pretty, but he loves me for who I am not what I control. In fact he sent me the link for this blog.

  14. Shea

    Really? That made you full of rage? Maybe you need some therapy, or maybe that’s what this blog is. In your own words,
    “Anyone who feels the need to passively aggressively make a sad little blog entry about girls in bikinis instead of directly confronting girls or, you know, getting over it, seems like they are doomed from the start. ”
    So why do you feel the need to passively aggressively make a blog about it? Do you not have anything better to do? Clearly, I don’t, I’m on an incredibly long car ride.
    Posting photos of yourself in a bikini, need attention much?? Or maybe you’re hoping some men get on here and see those? (…And no, I’m not jealous whatsoever, I’ve had 3 kids and can still wear a bikini. ) so no need to bash me about how I must be envious. I assure you, I am not.
    I just don’t see the need for you to get so irate about something so trivial. It’s an opinion, like yours. Except, She’s not specifically talking about any one person.

    1. Ciaran

      Fascinated by how you not only left a comment but you managed to write an answer for the author too. Very efficient.

  15. Katrina Neal

    Men love boobs…..’nuff said. Even Ron White talked about it in his stand up and how it wouldn’t matter if it was a 70 year old biker chick who offered to show them he would say, “Sure!” I agree that “your boobs ruined my marriage” is a seriously delusional and narcissistic chick who needs to take a step back and really evaluate what the true problems with her marriage are and I guarantee that it has nothing to do with other women posting bikini potos!! Does her husband get upset about men in her newsfeed posting shirtless and/or low rise pants photos? What about the women who share the photos of muscled, glistening male bodies, should my husband request that things like this are no longer posted?
    It is a free country, post what you want, allow others to post what they want and get off your pedestal and realize that those pictures don’t have a damn thing to do with you, your husband and least of all, your marriage. It is freedom of expression and they are merely expressing their confidence!

  16. Leners

    So awesome! I don’t give two flying…. If my my husband looks at girls in bikinis, or less than bikinis. I don’t care. I’ve got a whole Pinterest board of hotties and I’m happily married.

    Truly good relationships do not need to be micromanaged. I’m just saying.

  17. Haylee

    I agree with you! I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years and for the past 4 months we have been in long distance relationship! We have had our ups and downs just like every relationship has but I can tell you that it is not because of him looking at girls in bikinis!!! Yes he looks but at the end of the day im the one who has him! Also at the end of the day I’m the one who he tells is the most beautiful girl in the world!! I agree that if you are that insecure you need to delete every social media that you have! Like you said happy husbands don’t cheat!!!

  18. jessy manis

    Quick question!
    What is your response if I where to say that it’s not a fear of my husband leaving because of the pics but a concern over him sinning! I am not worried for my husbands faithfulness but boy do women make it hard for him to have pure thoughts! All men see it, most men have that second glance and that is where it becomes sin. I dress modestly because I care for the hearts of other men! Now if you don’t share my faith I understand your anger at the article and I am sorry it reached you and was upsetting. It was meant for an audience of married Christian women that might struggle with insecurities.

    1. Kristen

      That is really sad. After centuries of hiding women away out of Bible-induced shame and guilt, the mere sight of the female body has the power to send men to hell. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? How can you, as a woman in the 21st century, still think that way? And how can you just let men skate out of responsibility for their own thoughts by blaming other women for them? Perhaps if the female body was celebrated as beautiful and functional and necessary to humanity by everyone, no matter what style of clothing decorates it, then that second glance would merely be one of pure respect and appreciation rather than the sin-fest you’ve been brought up to believe it is.

  19. Jessica

    I am a wife and mother who has not gotten back down to prebaby size and would die if someone saw me in a bikini… As far as confidence goes, I need to work on it. With that said, when i read the blog this entry is in rebuttal to, I couldn’t believe it! I would never ask someone who has great self esteem and confidence to not post something so I wouldn’t feel so bad when my husband got on Facebook. I was truly appalled. No, you won’t see me in a bikini on social media, but I think if a woman wants to post her vacation pics or pool pics or even “hey, here’s my swimsuit! ” pics then that is her right and if my husband looks at them, who cares?!? He is still a human being! Just because someone looks good in a bikini has nothing to do with my relationship. Poor girl, hope she gains some confidence.

  20. Bob

    What a bully. How hateful and spiteful to publicly mock someone, especially someone who is clearly down, in order to make yourself feel/look better. I hope none of you glorifying this post ever have to explain yourselves to your children.

    1. Victoria

      I don’t believe it was bullying. Not any more than the original blog that this current blogger responded to. I found it funny as hell (seriously want to hug the author she had me rolling). Plus rants are healthy within moderation. If we wanted to be conservative prudes and nip pick then maybe “bitch” didn’t need to be said. But I for one loved this entire blog. Woke up my girlfriend I laughed so hard. Then again I must be evil also bc I post pics of myself in a bikini all the time. I’m a proud Puerto Rican girl with little body fat from training hard and eating right (& the inherited PR butt). Happy 4th!
      “There is something pagan in me that I cannot shake off. In short, I deny nothing, but doubt everything.” Lord Byron

    2. Thomas

      I will gladly explain to my children not to blame others for their own insecurities. This isn’t bullying it’s common sense. To have the nerve to fault other women for her husbands wondering eyes is absurd. Guys look at women. Yet she has the balls to ask that women stop posting pictures of themselves wearing bikinis because their boobs are ruining her marriage? Seriously….please think that one through. Bullying? Try a reality check. It’s a fact that guys checkout good looking ladies…it does happen. It’s a fact that women wear bikinis to the beach and happen to take pictures with their friends while at the beach. It also happens to be legal to share said pictures on their own personal social media outlet. The woman is definitely out of her mind for (a.) Blaming women posting bikini pictures for ruining her marriage when clearly there is a much bigger issue (b.) Asking women to stop posting these pictures (c.) Not doing the right thing and discussing this like an adult with her husband and expressing her obvious insecurities with him, in house, not in public forum.

      What this blog may have done is what any one of my friends would have done for me had I gone insane and made outlandish public accusations and pointed my finger at others for my problems. They would have tossed a nice tall glass of reality in my face and told me to wake up and open my eyes. Besides the women probably won’t ever see this blog so….bullying averted.

  21. Hope Gibson

    Thank you so much! I personally post my workout progress pictures to keep myself accountable, motivated, inspire and motivate others and feel proud that I challenged myself competing in a bikini competition. If people don’t want to see me proud of my progress and confident of my body and accomplishments, they can block/unfriend/unfollow me. I went to read her post as well, to see what other remarks she made and her post has been deleted.

  22. danny

    Some Women would not know a good mn if he came up and planted the best kiss on her she ever had! WHY? Because they are not a “bad boy!!!!!” they want someone that will treat them like shit and not adore them for who they are! Just saying, Give the good guys who finish last a chance! You won’t regret it!!!!!

  23. Geek GoddessGeek Goddess

    The author of the FB post is probably from a church background that emphasizes “sin” a lot. People are supposed to have “pure hearts and minds” and it’s women’s obligation to control that gateway. Because, you know, women are big temptresses and men can’t control themselves.

  24. Stargirl

    Thank you so much for this. That article bugged me SO much but I had no idea where to start as far as why. It made me ragey, and you managed to articulate exactly why. Bravo!

  25. Keri

    Be original. Use your blog for good. Don’t take the easy route of just blasting other people’s opinions. Be encouraging and uplifting with your words. Creat articles that inspire others.

    Be careful criticizing a married woman when you are not in her same situation. Marriage requires boundaries and both people must work hard together to keep their marriage sacred. No marriage is affair-proof.

    I genuinely hope that your relationship thrives and hope that you never have to struggle with this temptation issue.

      1. Leners

        But it’s a blog about things that annoy her. Why can’t she just talk about this annoying post and laugh at it without the ridicule? I don’t understand. It’s not your blog, it’s hers. If you don’t want your men looking at women in bikins then go talk about that on your blog.

        I mean, really though.

  26. Christi

    Well said!! B!TC# is crazy! I am the ONLY thin girl in my family. I am constantly asked to cover up my bikini. Apparently, I “make the others uncomfortable.” Pfft. I don’t post to fb, not big on pasting my life on social media. HOWEVER, it is not my place to judge other people. I snap photos of my girls, help them edit and wait patiently while they post. I couldn’t care less if my husband sees hotties on his newsfeed. Its his life. He comes home to ME everyday. He gets into MY bed every night. It is ME he wants. There are ither ways to “hold onto your husband” than just how you look…
    Loved this post. Wish more women had confidence in themselves and felt better in their skin.

  27. Chelsea

    Your article has a point, and you are totally right. If someone’s SO has chosen to stray, than nothing will keep them from doing so.

    However, you’re not telling this woman anything useful, just berating her insecurities as you pick them out through the words in her message. You then proceed to taunt her by posting more bikini pictures “for her husband” in your article that you KNOW will not make it to her husband.

    So in honesty your captions should have read more like
    “Here’s me in a tiny bikini! What? You still feel inadequate because there are already a myriad of models who already do EXACTLY what I’m doing right now and reminding you that you’re not confirming to cruel societal ideals? Oh… well I’m just going to make you feel even worse after your sadness caused you to lash out at someone whom you perceived as a threat. Am I doing a good job at being non-threatening? Maybe I’ll post a few more pictures of me in my prime, that should bring the threat level down a bit… It’s easier than joining hands with someone and helping them up from their self-deprication. WOO another bikini pic!! Suck it, depressed house wife!”
    Yeah, not as snarky, but more accurate than your passive aggressive statement that those pictures were “for her husband.”
    People like you are destroying journalism. Your articles are little more than glorified, petty, arguments that have been somehow legitimized by their rotation on social media. Good job making a news story about being a MEAN GIRL. You’re just a mean girl. Congrats.

  28. Christina

    They just need counseling. I went to the original blog and it looks like she deleted it. Looking at her photos, it is sad…shes a gorgeous woman. However… she really should just go to a counselor. I’ve had two children and yes I am not totally confident in myself either but I make sure I make my hubby happy… he looks at porn for goodness sake! It doesn’t bother me! He makes me feel beautiful in everyway and I know he loves. If he didn’t want to be with me, no one is holding a gun to his head. So I completely agree with you, she has some very controlling tendencies! I would be out of there in a hot minute if I were him!

  29. amy

    soo. i admit i have not read the original article. but. im just gonna throw something out here that has probably been mentioned in the comments i will be reading after my response. ive had issues in the past with a boyfriend forbiding mee to talk to ex boys ex girls men in general make friends with males he doesnt know. but it has been a double standard. while im sitting around like the silent virgine mary. hes flirting. texting girls he barely knows and religiously following any tatted naked suicide girl on instagram. it all boils down to his own insecurities. but in a relationship. before you fully understand whats going on. you want to forbide the bikinis. maybe its spite maybe its fairness or maybe it some new fucked up way of seeing the world you have acquired. sometimes you get stuck in that weird rut. have fun getting out.

    1. amy

      lol at protecting his eyes protecting his heart. as a scrolled through the comments. ive decided that its all societys fault. someone mentioned that boob oppression equals problems. i agree with this along with the oversexualization of the female ( and sometimes male) body.

  30. Mike

    I personally see this as less of a issue about her marriage and more about her being a sexist shitty person. For her to speak of men like we are all just some mindless, sex driven people with absolutely no self control. It is offensive to me as a man who prides himself on being an intellectual and an equalist. I personally hate alot of the things posted on my facebook, ignorant political/social stances. Hate toward specific Gender/race/religion. The LAST of my worries is bikini pics and this woman falls into the category of ignorance AND sexism.

  31. lovehearty42

    Y’know, I’d totally post a photo of myself in my swim suit, complete with luscious curves, stretch marks, and all my transgender glory… but I won’t have the pleasure of tempting husbands because I don’t have a perfect body and I only have a boring old one-piece swimsuit. *le’sigh*

  32. B.C. Kowalski

    Yep, not insecure at all… (rolls eyes)

    This reminds me of a situation with an ex-girlfriend a few years back. A friend of hers was cheated on by her boyfriend. She and my ex launched a campaign against the girl he cheated with, harassing and defaming her on Facebook. Not that they should have been a fan of hers, but what startled me was that both of them put all the blame solely on this woman. Her boyfriend was a “victim” of her seductive charm, apparently. I reported their defamation on Facebook as such, because it really went too far, but I couldn’t get over the idea that these two genuinely believed that the young lady in this situation was solely responsible, and that her boyfriend loved her with all his heart and never would have cheated if not for this conniving temptress. They were having none of the argument that it takes two to tango, that if not her he would likely cheat with someone else. This girl became my ex in a few months, and wouldn’t you know it? Found out she cheated on me. Didn’t really care by that point, I was just happy to be done with her.

    This woman is harboring some serious delusions if she thinks bikinis on Facebook will make a difference. I know when I’m in a strong relationship, seeing other girls only makes me want the woman I’m with even more.

  33. lee Smith

    Hmm… I’m male and in my late 40’s. I am absolutely ecstatic when a beautiful young lady walks by me in a bikini. It’s a glorious and wonderful thing to behold. I have been married for more than twenty years and do you know the chance that that sweet young thing has of interfering with my marriage? Absolutely none, zip. nada.

    I look because it is worth looking. Women want to be appreciated and I want to appreciate them. It’s a match made in heaven. That doesn’t mean that I will be rude, crude, or leering. It definitely doesn’t mean that I will hurt my wife by trying to seduce them.

    Girl watching is a great hobby, It’s cheap, doesn’t require any special equipment and I can do it anywhere. I’ve noticed more than one girl added a little extra wiggle to her walk when she realizes I’m watching. To my way of thinking, it’s her way of saying thank you for the appreciation.

    When I was a little younger women would proposition me. I would be crying at the time but the answer is and will always be no. I’m taken.

  34. monique

    Who really is the insecure one ?? Im sorry but I would say the one in the bathing suit. Probably you’ve never been in that woman’s shoes if ever married at all. And its so easy to say ” just go to crossfit ” when you’re single and have no kids and job and husband. Let’s really see how you feel after you pop out a couple of kids, they’re draining your money so you’re working overtime and let’s see if you still work out 5 days a week at crossfit. Oh you’re annoying, and for me, I don’t have any of your problems or her problems. Im happily married and don’t feel the need to share my hot body with anyone except my husband. But seeing as you have nothing better to do than rip apart another woman with your free time instead of trying to help her, I don’t think you’ll end up with either a great husband or friends. For one second look past YOURSELF and listen to what this woman was saying. .. She’s sad because her marriage is failing and shes begging for help! !!! You disgust me.

    1. lee Smith

      I would take it a step farther. Committed people don’t cheat. Emotions rise and fall. Some day’s you love ’em and some days you can’t stand them, but you are committed to each other. Commitment is a choice that doesn’t always and doesn’t need to agree with your feelings. When seen with that perspective cheating isn’t a problem because it’s off the table.

      I will say that the commitment has to be in both directions. I would never even pretend to be faithful to a woman who wasn’t being faithful to me. Can a mistake happen? Yes. I might overlook a mistake but I will not overlook a lifestyle. If a person wants you to be faithful while they have no intention of being faithful to you then leave.

      I don’t care how good looking you aren’t. Value is in a person and not in their container. If you are a good person you can build a good relationship.

  35. vb

    insecure is the truth. my S.O. looks at other guys and tells me i laugh. I look at a hot chic and she laughs. You people need to grow up. If ur that insecure your the one ruining ur own marraige. Get out if its that bad lol. Manda i agree with you. Thanks for having a great perspecive.

    And wtf is cyber bullying we arent in 5th grade… Its only words and if u dont like dont read it!

  36. Frederick

    I claim july 10th national bikini day all women and men take bathing suit selfies and post on faceboik and every online media source!

  37. shesays

    I don’t disagree with you, but isn’t it kind of exhausting to put so much energy into this? I don’t think your angry blog about this random woman is really going to change her or anyone else. People are weird, that seems to be the consistent thing here on earth.

    1. Lindsay

      Ok now that I’ve read the “you have too much time on your hands” petty sneer multiple times, I have to speak up for the author.

      Firstly, I’d like to welcome you personally to the public sphere! Where people can voice their opinions on a wide range of EVERYTHING because it all adds up to the bigger picture. Nothing in this world lacks importance or should ever be deemed too trivial to warrant discussion. Do you inderstand? It ALL matters!!!!

      Now that the obvious is out of the way…

      The author clearly states she’s a freelance writer. So any amount of time spent writing isn’t her free time, per se – it’s her job. And attacking someone for their opinion – not for WHAT they’re saying, mind you, but that they’re saying anything at all – is only something said by people who are losing an argument.

      You’re focusing on the act as opposed to the idea. It’s on par with saying “oh shut up” or “get a life.” It means you lack the ability to engage in meaningful discourse and have resorted to childish taunts. Again, you just lost.

      The goal of this blog – and ALL blogs and ALL books and ALL news outlets and ALL movies and ALL shows (save for science-based ones) – is to ENTERTAIN. That’s it. Whether she’s right or wrong (and in this case, she’s right), the objective is to amuse people enough that they’ll want to read more and, eventually, pay for it. If you read her entire entry and commented, then she succeeded. Good job, lady!

      And by the way, the author does not sound “enraged” to me; her humor is simply reactionary. She found excellent comedic fodder and ran with it – charmingly, I might add.

  38. SwAq

    Your rant of her is just as pathetic as she is. You talk about how things are about her, as you make it about yourself and your feelings. Get over yourself. I’m sure not many people care about what she has to say anyhow.

  39. Izzy

    I’m getting a mastectomy in three weeks… After the surgery, I want find this woman who thinks boobs will ruin her marriage, to take some pictures of me topless, and post them in her feed… “I’ve removed my boobs from your failing marriage!”


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