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The Most Offensive Thing About the Term Redskins? Everyone Pretending to be Offended

Newsflash: No one actually gives a shit about racism against Native Americans. People are jumping on the anti-Redskins bandwagon and crying about how offensive the term is, and then ignoring all of the other incredibly offensive things Americans do to Native Americans. If you’re actually offended by the term, you need to demonstrate that by doing more than hating an already largely hated sports team. It’s easy to dislike a football franchise from another city, but it’s more difficult to actually want to change things you like or policies that are inherently racist.

Remember when Etsy decided to ban everything Redskins? From their blog:

You may have been following the struggle of one ethnic group that has made a lot of headlines lately: Native Americans and their fight against the Washington, D.C. professional football team name and mascot, which they have long considered offensive, disparaging, and racist….We understand that fans wish to support their favorite football team, and we do not believe that fans who are attached to the mascot have any racist feeling or intent. We also understand that some fans view the name and mascot as an homage to Native Americans, and we do not doubt their noble intent, but the fact remains that Native Americans themselves find the term unacceptable.

Okay, cool.  If Native Americans find it offensive then it is offensive and should be removed. So…why can you still buy elaborate handmade headdresses on Etsy? Didn’t we decide that headdresses are offensive over and over and over again?

I find it incredibly hypocritical that the same people crying over the Redskins take the time to celebrate Thanksgiving every year.  Do you know how you feel about going around the table and saying what you’re thankful for? That nice fuzzy feeling of tradition and happiness? That’s what all of those Redskins fans feel 16 days a year. Do you protest Columbus Day as an official holiday on the calendar? If not, get your shit together before you start protesting FedEx and every other brand affiliated with the Skins.

I guess I can go to Redskins games when I’m home in DC, and then assuage my white guilt by gambling at WinStar when I’m home in Dallas.

Totally not offensive
Totally not offensive
Not offensive
Moderately offensive
Mega fucking offensive
Mega fucking offensive
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nope3

When Roommate Searching Goes Wrong

I haven’t been writing much, and that’s mostly because I’ve been busy working on the online dating book I’m trying to write.
What kind of online dating book, you ask?
The kind that talks about how terrible it can be! As an example of how creepy people can be in text messages, here are some texts from someone I met on Craigslist as a potential roommate situation.  Notice the years on the time stamps. I often forget we didn’t meet online dating — and that we never met offline at all (thank god).  This (and too many dick pics — thanks OKCupid!) is why I use Google Voice.

nope nope2nope3

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obamacare2

Thanks, Obamacare – Throwback Tuesday #tbt

I’m not waiting until Thursday for tbt, because I do what I want –especially when I’m pissy.  I really need some fucking Adderall but my health insurance quote is almost $300 a month and doesn’t cover ANYTHING until I spend $6,000, so I’m uninsured. I’ll go to the doctor in the next week or two out of pocket, but until then — I’m grumpy and ADD.

A few months ago the White House had a contest to select the best gif to make millennials sign up for ACA as part of their #GetCoveredNow campaign.  They were awful, so I helpfully made some new ones…but they didn’t add mine. Go figure.

The White House ones said things like “You only YOLO once”  or had young adults doing stupid shit and getting hurt. I highly encourage you to go look at them all and wonder why they apparently let someone over 55 design these.

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Why is there an Adderall shortage?
Rhode Island encourages and teaches parents to use Tinder and dating sites to tell children to sign up for ACA.  Yes. Seriously. It happened.
That cat image isn’t mine.
Neither are the ducks.
Or YOYOLOO. Thanks Obama.
AND FUCK YOU, SALLIE MAE.

p2owell

Why Aren’t We Talking about Kajieme Powell?

Last week I wrote about the shooting of Kajieme Powell. Immediately after I watched the video, I started searching to see if I could find anyone else saying what I was thinking — that his actions were intentional, deliberate, and premeditated. That his actions were those of a martyr. At the time, I found nothing. Now, I’m finding a few people saying what I said– but I have to really search for it.

Someone linked me to this, which I highly recommend you listen to. I was also linked to this Facebook.

What the fuck is wrong with us? This might be the most important thing to happen in the movement that’s coming from the Brown shooting. There’s no arguing here about whether or not Powell charged at the cops. This is clear and simple, exactly as it was meant to be.

In about half an hour there will be a vigil for Mike Brown. Ferguson is still talked about, Brown is still commanding national attention. So what do we have to do to bring attention to Powell? Does anyone have any contact information for anyone who knew him? How do we move on from the idea that this was a suicide?

condoms

If You Don’t Teach Your Kids About Safe Sex, I Can’t Wait For You to be a Grandfather Before Your Kids Can Drive

Are you waiting until marriage to have sex? Good for you! Unless we’re close enough for you to tell me about you having sex, please don’t tell me about how you aren’t getting laid (I’m an equal opportunist kill joy). But for the love of God, do not tell me that you won’t be teaching your children about safe sex.

Shout out to one of my very astute readers for sending me this gem: I Will Not Teach My Kids About Safe Sex Because There is No Such Thing (also, you kind of suck because I have since wasted hours of my life reading this guy’s blog). The blog author, Matt Walsh, makes two key points: if you are having casual sex, you aren’t having good sex (indeed, only those who have been married for many years have good sex), and teaching your kids about condoms is like telling them to drink and drive, as long as they buckle their seatbelts. Oh. Okay. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess Matt can’t be on Facebook during bikini season.

The ‘safe sex’ model, however, tells a sterilized and paranoid story. It says, “this is something so frivolous and so joyless that you can do it with whoever, for whatever reason, even if just to alleviate boredom. By the way, though it is just a recreational activity, like Parcheesi or air hockey, it can also lead to broken hearts, chlamydia, pregnancy, and AIDS. So, in that sense, it’s a little different from a board game. Hey, let’s look at some super-magnified images of genital warts!”
Does it really, though? What shitty fucking parents have you met, Matt? I don’t know anyone who was raised this way. Do you guys?
 
Imagine the college students who have to chug 6 rum cocktails and 8 Natty Lights between them before they can anonymously copulate in someone’s dorm room.
Why do we say that these people enjoy sex? The man who makes love to his wife of 20 years enjoys sex; these people only enjoy certain physical sensations.
Oh. I forgot how often I hear about people being together for 20 years and still humping like rabbits. Isn’t that kind of not the norm? Also, what’s with the extremes here? 20 years of marriage vs. a drunken one night stand? Quite frankly, Matt, just as I’m in no position to comment on what it’s like to be married for 20 years, you clearly aren’t qualified to comment on what it’s like for people to have sex outside of marriage.
 
We tell young people to wear condoms to protect against ailments like hepatitis and AIDS. The obvious insinuation here is that there is a ‘safe’ way to fornicate with a diseased stranger.
I don’t have much to say here other than how awesome is it to refer to sex this way? Men can carry HPV even if they are virgins so I feel like this invalidates the entire argument.
 
Sex itself isn’t safe. On the other hand, committed relationships, fortified by the vows of marriage and reaffirmed daily by both spouses, are safe — and it is only in this context that the inherent vulnerability of sex can be made secure and comfortable.
I don’t plan on ever getting married, because I don’t believe in bringing the government into my relationship. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! Does this mean I’ll never really love someone or be loved the way Matt think it’s supposed to happen? Government contract? Good to go. Loving and committed relationship? DISEASED STRANGER SLUT.
 
Throughout the first part of the article, I was clinging to the hope that this guy meant he was going to teach his children abstinence as a moral goal, but would still teach them how to use birth control. Nope – hope those little rugrats don’t end up like me, never wanting to have children, even when they are married to someone.
 
 

Now, I know you’ll tell me that we have to be realistic. Kids will have sex, so shouldn’t we at least make sure they’re prepared for it?
To answer that question I have a few of my own:
You don’t want your kid to drink and drive, but if he did, you’d prefer he wear a seatbelt, right? Well, would you ever say to him: “junior, I know you’re going to drink and drive. You shouldn’t, but everyone does. So just wear your seatbelt”?

Say what? I’d say it’s actually more like telling your child you don’t want them to drink, but a lot of kids do drink. So if they decide to have alcohol in high school (despite you teaching them about the dangers of alcoholism and binge drinking, legal consequences, etc.), under no circumstances should they drink and drive. It’s dangerous, it’s unforgivable. It can result in loss of life for multiple people, it can result in severe property damage, etc.
If you have sex – despite the physical and emotional dangers I have taught you, children – you need to wear a condom. I don’t know what the sexual equivalent of drinking and driving is for parents talking to teenagers. Maybe bukaki?

Oh wait! A direct contradiction!

And abstinence before marriage has a better way to deal with the bad things — it tells you about gonorrhea and herpes and out-of-wedlock pregnancy, but it assures you that you don’t need to live in fear of these things if you simply wait for the right time.

Oh. So you will tell them these things can happen, but you won’t tell them how to prevent them? And any unwanted fetus that I find inside me (ring or not), has gotta go. I guess these kids will have to get married and procreate IMMEDIATELY. Shit like this is how kids develop the idea that putting Sprite in your vagina works as birth control.

I’m not a psychologist, but if you spend so much time telling your children to define their self worth and identity on the state of sticking things up their hoohah, what do you tell you tell them if they’re date raped or when lose their identity when they’re married or if they just “mess up” and have sex? If I was from a family that felt so strongly about abstinence that my dad was writing blog posts about my chastity, I’d probably run away if I had sex and got knocked up.

And odds are pretty fucking good these kids are gonna be having some babies (what’s up, Bristol Palin). Abstinence only education consistently fails. And coming from a religious stand point, the Bible says we shouldn’t have sex AT ALL but if we do we ought to be married. And do you know why, Matt? Paul says that we should be married because we’re gonna bang anyway, so we might as well be married. 

I leave you all with 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. Kinda cheapens the “don’t say they’re gonna do it anyway!” argument.

Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time,so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satanwill not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

 

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